So, what gives, Jason Chaffetz?
Did the Secret Service finally clean up its act and name an impenetrable and un-jumpable White House fence after you?
Did you land a job with a cellphone company that offers free health insurance with each two-year contract?
Or, as I read again and again on social media, did the angry opposition, the fundraising efforts of a Democratic opponent or the figurative target on your back become too burdensome?
Was it no longer fun to head the House Oversight Committee without a Democrat in the White House to oversee? Did someone have dirt on you we never will see?
Or are you hiding some chronic illness or debilitating problem? Your Facebook post was careful to describe yourself as healthy, but you are a politician, after all.
These and other mostly improbable speculations choked the Wasatch Front this week. The reason is simple. In an age when power — unvarnished and unmarred by compromises with ideological enemies — seems life’s ultimate goal, it’s hard for Americans to wrap their minds around the thought of walking away from it all.
Who does that?
Not Don Young, the Alaska Republican who won his seat in a special election in 1973 and has hung on tight ever since. Not Jon Conyers, the Michigan Democrat elected in 1965. Not, apparently, Orrin Hatch, who seems likely to run again for a Senate seat he first won in 1976.
It’s harder, still, to accept reasons that sound so simple. Wanting to spend more time with the family seems so cliché.
Then again, how many of us would like the ability to quit a job that keeps us from our own children? Any sales people or truck drivers wish to respond?
Of course only Jason Chaffetz…